


A new life can begin

by SumSteal1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bartender Castiel, Bottom Castiel, Crossover, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Sex, Fallen Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, OTP Feels, Protective Dean Winchester, Self Confidence Issues, Self Harm, Student Dean Winchester, Suicidal Dean, Virgin Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1705247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumSteal1/pseuds/SumSteal1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would it feel to be a simple student, alcohol, party and chicks in your bed everynight.. Dean doesnt know about that, because he is just a simple student, with 2 friends, who gets attacked by mean words and hurtful comments everyday.<br/>He wish to dissapere a lot of time .... If only.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only if

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever, So dont hate me too much..  
> This is based on a dream i had, and i just thought about writing it down..  
> Please tell me what you think, maybe what i can do better..
> 
> ENJOY!!!!

Dean made his way though the school as fast as he could, he didnt wanna be on the school any longer then he had to. Dean had some skinny jeans on, a white shirt and his leather jacket. He looked like that most days. his hair was messy, sometimes he would even wear a hat to hide it. Dean was just a simple boy, going to a normal high school, with normal people .... Almost.

"Loser!", "Hide the sharp stuff, he might try to kill himself again!!", "Homo!" People yelled at Dean as he walked down the hall. Just another day, Same Shit, Different hurtful words, that Dean wish he could just ignore, but it hurts more and more everyday. Dean is 18 and had tried to commit suicide on his dark times, He had been cutting, thinking he could stop cutting, but he couldnt. He still did it. Everyday. In the shower when he came home. and he  **Hated**  it.

He could see the shed. The shed was a place where people very often went to smoke in secret, Dean smoked as well, also in secret, but that was not why he was going there. He had promised to meet his friends there. He had two friends, and it made him sad because there was around, 300 people on the whole school. He would often sit at lunch and just look at the popular kids eat together, and he wished it would have been him. Dont get the wrong idea, He loved his friends and were thankful for the two he had, but he often wished he would have more friends. And not just friends on Tumblr. 

"Took you long enough" a girl grinned at Dean. The girl had long blonde hair, and her clothes style was, very different.. She almost looked like an anime girl from these anime series about a girl in high school. Maybe she got her clothes idea from anime, Dean didnt know, and he didnt care. He always thought she was beautiful, and her name was Tanna.  
"Sorry.. many people" Dean said and made the last 5 steps to his friends.  
"Let me guess, they said some shit to you again?" A girl said, she was a lil smaller then tanna, short hair and shorts. She mostly looked like she was going out running, her name was Lucy. They were both Dean's best friends and he loved them.  
"Yeah, is that shocking?"  
"Ugh, dont let them get to you Dean.. they are wastes!" Tanna said with an angry voice, She hated when everybody was picking on Dean, because she knew what Dean did to hurt himself. To take away the pain.  
"Calm down Tanna.. they didnt push me or touch me this time" Dean said and hugged them both. 

 

They left the shed, in a hurry as the smokers came to smoke their 10th cigarette that day. They were planning on going to Dean's place, because since it was friday, Tanna thought she would take Lucy and Dean out.  
"Out where?" Dean asked a lil confused. He was not the type to go out very much. He mostly sat at home.  
"How about a party?"  
"No.. my mom would never let me go to a party" Lucy said very arogant, But not arogant to Tanna, more arogant to her parents because Lucy was that kind of girl who's mom and dad would  **never** let their little girl go out to a party or any sort of gathering from the school  
"Then.. a bar?.. you can say you study with Dean" Tanna said with a bright smile.   
"Im up for it" Dean said. he had never thought he would say these words about going out, but he felt different around Tanna and Lucy. He trusted them.  
"Awesome!" Tanna yelled and jumped up and down a few times. "Come to my place later guys! see ya!" Tanna laughed as she ran home. 

Dean looked around. He didnt even notice that they had walked all the way from school and home. past the football field, the store and the mad women's house.  
"I'll see you later Dean!" Lucy said and ran home aswell. And there stood Dean, alone on the street, he didnt know why, but he did. He felt upset as soon as he was alone again and sighed, as he kicked a stone out of the way and started walking home.

**_________________________________________________________________________________**

Dean dropped his bag and his jacket on his bed, music and his parents talking downstairs in the kitchen. They were making dinner, and Dean was going to take a shower. Again. He took his shirt off and threw it on the bed. Then his pants and socks. He looked at himself in the mirror and suddenly felt very sick. Dean had scars, cutmarks and burn marks all over his body, On his arms, shouders, His stomach, his legs, feet .. Everywhere you looked on Dean, There was cuts and burn marks. He felt ashamed everytime he saw himself naked. Under all his clothes nobody would ever be able to see it, but the cuts were the reason he didnt go to gym. 

"Dean, Honey! Dinne is ready soon!" His mom yelled from downstairs. Dean just nodded as if she would be able to hear his nod. He felt unable to speak or move for the longest time ever. When he finally did move, it was to turn on the water. The hot water felt nice running down his body. He ran his hands though his short hair a few times and then wiped the water away from his face. He was just staring into the wall, letting the water run down him. 

He felt pain, he felt hurt physically and mentally. He sat down on the floor uner the water and grabbed a new blade and ran his finger of it, to check if it was sharp at all. It pretty much was because he started bleeding. The water and the blade was the cloest things to Dean. He felt hurt, being called a waste of air, and people telling him to die. Nobody knew how much it hurt him. His parents sure as hell didnt. He didnt tell them anything. 

He looked at the blade as he thought of all the hurtful stuff he got told today. How he just wanted to dissapere from everything. From everybody. he put the blade tight on his chest, and held it there for a second before sliding the blade over his chest. He bit his teeth together tight at the pain coming from the blade and tears started rolling down his face. 

 

> This was not Dean.. Dean didnt always feel like this. He was once a happy boy, he had friends, and went out a lot, but as he started growing, so did his depression. The depression he never knew he had. He could play with his friends, in the dirt all day long, hunting monsters that didnt exist, wishing for his life to finally begin, and he been like that always, but when he was 14... after everyday he would come home. lock himself in his room, as if there was something wrong. Cry himself to sleep .. Even cut himself. It got worse as he got older. He became scared of his life, of what he could do to hurt himself.

 

The blade made a long mark on his chest, as he finally removed the blade and looked down on the mark, blood was already dripping. He was scared he would someday kill himself. He wanted to be found, to be saved from the dark hole he somehow landed in. His blood dripped down and mixed in with the water, he didnt stop.  
A voice made Dean drop his blade and look at the door.  
"Honey.. are you alright? dinner is ready.." His mom said, knocking on the door.  
"I.. I will be down in a second!" Dean said slowly. His voice was shaking and he was stuttering.

His mother left, but she made Dean go out of his mind. He started being scared, afraid and worried. His mother had never come to knock on the door while he was in the shower. it was these little things that could make him worried out of his mind. He washed the blood off his body and turned off the water, and wrapped a towel around his body, mostly on the chest just to stop the blood. 

When he came out from the bathroom and into his own room, he took some bandage on his chest. hoping nobody would notice when he put on his clothes. taking one last look at himself before he sighed and went downstairs. He had taken some black skinny jeans on and a black shirt that match his jeans, aswell as making his chest seem fit. Dean's mother looked a bit at him as he came down.  
"Are you going somewhere?" his mother asked, holding her own hands, while looking at him with a worried, yet happy face.  
"Umm.. yeah.. im going out with Tanna and Lucy"  
"Where?.."   
"Umm.. a bar..."  
"Aint you a lil young for that?" she asked with a sigh. She hated Dean going to places like that.  
"No.. everybody else does it.. so why cant i?" Dean looked at her a little hurt. He knew his mom was only looking out for him but sometimes she was too protective.  
"You can.. i didn't say you couldn't, did i?.. when will you be home?" She asked, as she took a piece of Pizza, that was sat on the table.  
"Early.. it wont be long, because i think its gonna be boring" he said totally opened minded.  
"Alright then" She said with a soft smile. Dean's dad didnt say much, and the rest of the dinner was just pure silence. Dean hated it, mostly because he felt they were hiding something.


	2. A meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling in love is great, but how does it feel when you fall for one of your own gender? .. Dean finds out as he goes to an inn with his friends ... Dean is ready for the change, as he walks though the doors to the inn, and suddenly everything change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading the first part of my story, here is the second part -smile-
> 
> spoiler: HOT CASTIEL ON THE WAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> ENJOY!!

Dean made his way over to Tanna's house and met Lucy on the way. She looked nice, she was wearing jeans, a fine tanktop and the same shoes as always, but Dean could see a difference. Just not on himself, but he sure could on Lucy. For a momment it made him wonder what Tanna would wear. Dean have had a crush on Tanna a bit, she always looked so fine, and she cared about him, Lucy did too, but for some reason, Dean felt more into Tanna.

"Finally you guys are here!!" Tanna said as she opened the door. She was wearing high the same as she did in the afternoon.. Still looking as an anime girl, and still just as beautiful as any sunset Dean had ever seen.  
"Sorry.. My mom wanted to look at me for a whole hour just to check if i was lying" Lucy said with a sigh and walked in, with Dean right behind.  
"You're mom is weird" Dean laughed, and it made Lucy smile that Dean laughed, only because Dean didnt laugh very often.  
"Yea tell me about it" She laughed her little girl laugh back.

They were sitting together in Tanna's room, all three, with each bottle of alcohol. Dean didnt drink much, but he felt the need to drink, if he wanted to have just a little bit fun tonight. They were laughing and drinking, and eating the snacks Tanna's mom had come with. Tanna's mom was by far the coolest mom Dean had ever met, and he was somehow sure Lucy had the same thoughts. Out of sudden Tanna's perfect bright smile dissapered as she looked at Dean.  
"What?" Dean asked with a nervous laugh, but he was confused of why Tanna would look at him that way.  
"Did you... ya know..?" She asked a little nervous, and Dean started to feel sick once again as he looked down at his hands.  
"Oh My God.." Lucy said and took her hand to her mouth with a gasp as she saw how Dean looked down.  
"You promised you wouldn't" Tanna said a little upset, maybe a lot, but she sure was hiding how upset she felt.  
"Im sorry T... They said these awful stuff and it got to me and..." Dean stopped, he knew it didnt help any to make excuses for himself. It was not okay, and he knew it.  
"Please dont cut anymore.. please" Lucy said and hugged him Dean, and with a 'Aww' Tanna did the same. It felt nice to have hugs, especially from his two best friends.

 

The evening went as they planned, They got a little drunk, maybe even a lot. Maybe not Dean, but Tanna did. They went to town and tried to find some random bar they could get a drink on. Dean was not sure why they had to drink home if they were going to a bar, but he trusted Tanna, and it seemed like Tanna knew what she was doing. The city was light up in so many places, every house had light in them, except the ones where old people were living. Dean had never seen the city light up that way, Maybe because he had never been out at night.   
Tanna was walking the way like she was the queen of it, laughing, holding on to Dean and singing songs with Lucy. Anybody could see that they were all 3 sort of drunk. When Tanna walked into the door by the bar, Dean was sure she was drunk. She laughed at almost everything, and Dean was more afraid that the bar wouldn't let her have anymore to drink.

 

Somehow Dean felt different. Like something good was gonna happen, or maybe he just felt nice because he was drink and with his friends. He couldn't really tell. But as soon as Tanna opened up the doors to the bar, Dean had wide eyes. Well, it wasn't really a bar, it was more like, an inn.  A sudden happiness came over him as they all three walked in. The inn was full of people, well, not really, but there was some people, And there was light everywhere, it was like a heaven on earth.   
"Another one!!" A man yelled by a table. The table was crowded with some men playing poker, A game Dean never really understood, and he didnt even wanna try.  
"Just a second, sir" A sweet voice said, A male voice. Dean liked it, he liked the inn. It all felt magical in the bar, not like it did outside.

Dean, Lucy and Tanna sat by a table and Tanna as the first, leaned her head to the table and started laughing, with no reason at all.   
"Oh my god.. Dean.. do you remember that party my mom was having and you were there, and i was all ughhh and.. " Tanna said in between her laughs. Dean smiled and laughed a bit. Tanna was wonderful.  
"yeah i remember ... it was fun"  
"I threw up!!" She laughed even more at these words and Dean couldn't help but to laugh with her. Lucy was just sitting there, looking at them as if they were crazy or something. But she was smiling.   
"What can i get you guys?" A nice male voice said. A male came to the table. The male had brown hair, and he was wearing a gray shirt and a pair of jeans. His eyes was so light blue, that anybody could get lost in them, and his face, well .. If Dean didnt know any better, he would say this male was perfect. **And Dean did not know any better.**

 

Dean stared at the male for what felt like the longest time ever, hopefully the male didnt notice, which was stupid because he did. The male looked at Dean with a smile. The male seemed so cheerful and so sweet, like ... an angel, Dean thought to himself.  
"What do you guys have?" Tanna said, leaning over the table, while she was looking at the male.  
"Depends on what you like" he smiled at her, Dean was still staring and it had to take a momment for Lucy to realize he was staring. She kicked Dean lightly on the leg, which made Dean look at her. They were sending face messages to each other, sort of, Where mostly Lucy's face message was 'you're staring' and Dean just simply laughed.

"Can i get you in a glass?" Tanna laughed, and Dean looked at her with a smirk and then looked up at the male.  
"Im afraid that might take a while" the male said with a smirk and looked at Dean, "What about you?.. anything?" He asked Dean, and Dean just suddenly froze.   
"Umm.. i dont know.. 3 beers?" He said a little nervous. Why he was nervous, he didnt know.  
"Alright" The male said and went up to the bar. Dean was looking for him. practically Dean just looked up and down the male, from his feet, to his butt, and his chest and his face. Dean felt a strange feeling, His brain kept saying that the male was attractive. Dean was not into guys very much, he had only had eyes for girls, but there was something about this male, that Dean really liked.

"Dean! stop !" Lucy said and waved her hand infront of Dean's face.   
"I dont do anything" Dean said and looked at Lucy with a smirk.  
"Oh stop, you're totally checking that guy out!" Lucy said and laughed.  
"Oh, Deany has a crush!" Tanna laughed with Lucy, and Dean couldn't help but feeling embarrassed, because as true as it was, he kind of loved the look of the male.  
"No.. i dont even know his name!" Dean laughed and looked over at the bar as the male appered with 3 beers, just as Dean asked.  
"Here you go, guys" The male said and placed the beers on the table.  
"Thank you" Dean said with a smile and once again stared at the guy. something was wrong. Dean thought, maybe he was just too drunk.  
"Can i ask what your name is?" Tanna said with a cute laugh and smirk at the guy.  
"Sure you can ask.." The male said and looked at her. For a second there was totally silence and then Dean understood what the male said. Dean started laughing and the male looked at him, with a bright smile because Dean was the only one who understood.  
"Well.. Umm.. " Tanna said confused, not really understanding why the male didnt say his name, Maybe she was too drunk to understand.  
"You didnt ask for my name.. you only asked me if you could ask me" The male smirked, and finally Tanna understood.  
"Oh.. now i feel stupid" she said with a nod as she was laughing. "what is your name?" she asked him finally.  
"My name is Castiel" he said with a smirk. Dean looked over at Tanna laughing and then smiled at the Castiel.  
"Nice name" Dean said, well, he thought he was only thinking it, but insted, he was thinking very loud.  
"Thank you" he said and went up to the bar once again as a few beers got paced there, Castiel took the beers and went with them to the table of poker guys. The poker guys were loud, they were screaming everytime they lost a game, and laughing loud everytime they won a game. Castiel was just standing in the bar, either waiting for more people, or maybe just waiting till he could leave.

 

"He is cute.. Dean i didnt know you were into guys" Tanna suddenly said and gasped at Dean.  
"Its funny, either did i" Dean simply said and took a sip of his beer.  
"He is cute.." Lucy said and looked up at Castiel.  
"Yeah, i guess" Dean smiled a bit and looked up at Castiel aswell. For a momment Castiel was all that Dean could see, like a huge light around Castiel, like there was nobody else in the room at all. Suddenly, the poker guys and his friends, didnt matter. 


	3. Drunk and in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So being drunk is great, except when you're Dean and doesn't know what kind of stupid stuff you do. Dean wakes up, Drunk on love, or maybe just drunk from yesterday, Who knows. But one thing is sure. 
> 
> He feel more and more in love.

The next day when Dean woke up, it was with a smile on his lips. It was Saturday and that meant,  **No School.** Dean was just laying in his bed, looking up at the ceiling, His ceiling had a mirror so he could see himself from his bed. His mind ran over the night before at the inn. He remember being at Tanna's place, the way to the inn, he remember being in the inn, and mostly he remember the male at the inn.  
"Castiel" Dean said with a smily face and almost got all red in the face, just by mentioning the name. He had a feeling that finally everything would go better, that his life would take a turn to the better, but then again... he had this feeling every weekend because there was no school.

He sat up in his bed with a smile on his face and checked his phone. Tanna had left 8 messages on his phone. With a sigh and a smile he got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen. Dean's mom and dad was already up and his mom smiled a lot as Dean came to the kitchen with a smile. He grabbed an apple and kissed his mom on the cheek.  
"Somebody is happy today, huh?" she said with a smile.  
"Im like this every weekend?" Dean said and laughed a bit.  
"But not everyday..." His dad said as he took some bread out of the oven.  
"Maybe something has just changed.. im off to Tanna's" He said and took his jacket on, holding the apple in his mouth and then walking out of the door. Dean didnt even hear his mom or dad's answer, he just left without any warning.

 

Dean wasn't really going to Tanna's house, because he was sure she was sleeping after being so drunk the night before. He loved seeing Tanna drunk, because she was so easy to get drunk. He walked down the street, on his way to the inn. He had money with him, and it was his plan. he had breakfast at home, but he wanted to eat breakfast at the inn today, insted. He pushed the door to the inn open and walked in. There was more people at morning then at the evning, either eating or drinking morning coffee.

A man got up from a chair by the desk and laid money on the table, which got taken pretty fast by the worker, and then the man went out. Dean took the chance to sit at that spot just to be closer to what he thought would have been the attractive male from yesterday. But when he sat down and the worker came over to take his order, it wasn't Castiel that took the order. it was somebody totally different, and Dean's first thought was; if looks could kill!  
The worker didnt look nice, or sweet, or at all attractive.

"What can i get you?" the worker said with a voice as if he was angry at Dean for coming.  
"C-Coffee?" Dean said with a stuttering voice. and the worker then got a cup and filled it with coffee. Dean had never really had coffee before, but maybe today was the time to try. He looked down at his coffee a bit and sighed. He felt dissapointed that Castiel was not there. Dean had dressed up and went all the way to the inn just for Castiel, and he wasn't even sure why. A small wind blew though the room as a door went open. It made Dean look up and his eyes got wide pretty fast, because in though the door, came Castiel. He had a white shirt on today, and.. well, he went right past Dean. Not that Dean thought Castiel would notice him at all.

 

"You're late" The other worker said and looked at Castiel.  
"Im sorry, traffic?" He said with a nice smile and a joking voice.  
The worker only shook his head and smiled as he went out.   
"Can i get more coffee?" a man beside Dean said and looked up from his newspaper. Castiel came over and filled the man's cup and Dean's heart skipped a beat, hoping that Castiel wouldn't notice him. But he did anyway.  
"How did you sleep?" He said and looked over at Dean. Dean thought it was a kinda odd question for a bartender to ask. Bartender? well looks like he was a Bartender at night and a servant at day. Dean liked it.  
"Umm... alright i guess" He said and smiled at Castiel.  
"That's great.. maybe you guys shouldn't drink so much next time" He grinned and took a cup and filled it with coffee for himself. The words made Dean freeze for a second.  
"What happened yesterday?" Dean asked a little confused and shocked.  
"You dont remember?" Castiel said and leaned back, looking at Dean. Dean just simply shook his head. He suddenly felt very embarrassed, because he didnt know what happened, and the best question was yet to be answered.

"Well.. You and your friends got a little too much to drink, and didnt wanna leave when we were closing, so well.. your friend asked if i would walk you all home" He grinned and the man beside Dean grinned a bit too while looking at his newspaper. Dean's smile dissapered and he looked down at his coffee.  
"Im so sorry.. we were wasted" he laughed nervous a bit.  
"No worries.. its just a part of my job" Castiel smiled and went to the kitchen as a clock sounded, he came out of the kitchen with some food for some people. Dean was just sitting there, feeling stupid. He didnt understand why he couldn't remember, and what did Castiel mean by 'A Part Of His Job'. So many things Dean would like to have answers to. 

"What else happened yesterday? .. did we say something stupid or..?" Dean asked as Castiel came back to the desk.  
"Well, you were drunk.. you kept calling me, saying i was an angel and stuff like that" Castiel said. He wasn't looking at Dean, but suddenly Castiel heard a bang, which made him look at Dean. Dean had banged his head into the desk and sighed.   
"I feel so stupid now" He sighed deeply and lifted his head from the desk to look up at Castiel.  
"Well you just banged your head into the desk, so.." Castiel grinned and it made Dean laugh a bit aswell.

 

Dean and Castiel had talked a lot, about a lot of stuff, Dean made sure to ask a lot into Castiel, and it didnt look like Castiel had a problem with it. As they talked, everybody else slowly dissapered, either to work or home, who knows. But not Dean. Dean just sat there. He felt like he could listen to Castiel forever. The sweet voice of a beautiful person, who was just more and more perfect every second, in Dean's eyes.  
"So... umm.. do you have a girlfriend?" Dean suddenly asked while Castiel was washed the desk.   
"Umm, no.. i dont" Castiel simply answered with a grin.   
"Oh thats sad" Dean said and drikked the last of his coffee. he only had one cup of coffee, but he used at least 2 hours to drink it.   
"Why is that? .. because im an angel?" Castiel said and smiled bright. It made Dean laugh aswell.  
"You are not gonna let that one go, are you?" Dean asked with a smirk on his lips. He was not the type to smile much, but he felt normal to smile to Castiel by now.  
"No.. it was funny.. i guess im an angel"  
"Yea.. you are" Dean said, well.. he didnt wanna say it, but it just kind of slipped out of his mouth.  
"Well thank you.. " Castiel said with a laugh. "How about you? Any girlfriend?" Castiel asked, wrapping his hands together in a cloth, fumbling with his hands, as if he was nervous.  
"Umm.. no.. im not very easy to please" Dean said as an excuse.  
"What about the girls from yesterday? Castiel said a little confused.  
"Oh them? they are my best friends.."  
"Didn't seem like that yesterday?" Castiel said, leaning at the desk.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well.. you and that Tanna girl kissed yesterday.." Castiel said and smiled.   
"We what?" Dean said shocked and looked at Castiel with wide eyes.  
"at her house.. yesterday.. "  
"Oh my god.. what else of stupid stuff did i do?" Dean said, hoping there wasn't anymore stupid stuff he could have done.  
"Well.. you kissed me" Castiel said with a smirk.  
"I did?" Dean said and looked at Castiel, pretty shocked. Could it be that Dean had been so drunk, he had kissed a random guy from a bar?  
"Im so sorry, Castiel" Dean said, sounding really regretting and upset over it.  
"Dont worry.. its fine.." Castiel said and smiled.   
"What a crazy way to meet" He laughed nervous.  
"I dont know.. i liked it" Castiel smiled and took Dean's empty cup and went to the kitchen with it.

 

Dean sat back and smiled bright.. These words, running though his head. He liked it? Dean loved how Castiel was okay with everything and he was so nice, but then again, Dean never thought he would have a crush on a male. he mostly thought he only was into girls. but Castiel made Dean smile. He made Dean feel happy and Dean felt like he was somehow loved when he talked to Castiel. How come Dean never met Castiel before yesterday?

As Castiel came out from the kitchen again, it was with another worker, and Castiel had his jacket on. Very true, Castiel was leaving now, And if Castiel was leaving, Dean had no reason to be at the inn at all. He got up from his chair and looked over at Castiel. Castiel was handing a key to the other worker and then walked over to Dean.  
"See you around" He said to Dean with a smirk as he walked out.  
"Yeah" Dean said and smied, just watching Castiel leaving. The worker came over to Dean and asked if Dean wanted anything, Dean just simply shook his head and walked out of the inn, after Castiel. 


	4. Does our love have a beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all know how it feels to be on a date, dont we? yet Dean and Castiel's date aint all normal, its far from normal, because its not even a date. What could a walk and a little talking do to two people.. lets find out.
> 
> One thing is sure, Their love have a whole new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hai! Thanks for reading..  
> In this chapter i have put Castiel's point of view in...
> 
> because Castiel, thats why.  
> Peace out!

"Wanna hang out for a bit?" It slipped out of Dean's mouth. Castiel turned around and looked at Dean as if he was crazy. Dean didnt know why, but he really really wanted to be close to Castiel, just a bit longer. he knew he could just come back to the inn sometime, but it wasn't enough for Dean.  
"You wanna hang out with a random guy from a bar?" Castiel asked a little confused at the whole situation.  
"Sure.. why not" Dean said, trying to escape the awkwardness he got himself into. Castiel just shook his head.  
"You're a weird guy, Dean" Castiel laughed a bit and stepped closer, because the 20 steps away they were from each other, was way too much.  
"I know.. i get that a lot" He said with a smile. Castiel just simply nodded.  
"Alright.. were do you wanna hang out?"  
"Umm.. i dont know.." Dean said, trying to seem cool by walking past Castiel, hoping that Castiel would follow, and he did, thank god, he did. Dean knew the park was right down the street, and he thought maybe, just maybe that would be a great place to hang out with Castiel.

 

There was too much silence, and Dean could feel Castiel didnt like it. But Dean didnt know what to say, or to do. All he could do, it walk into the park with Castiel by his side.  
"So... what do you do, other then the Inn?" Dean finally asked, as he saw Castiel was looking bored.  
"Um.. nothing.. i hang out with people, like now" he grinned and looked at Dean. Dean was smiling bright too, and nodded.   
"I dont come out much.. so i thought, i might aswell get out.."  
"Why dont you come out much?" Castiel asked very confused, and Dean understood why. A teen boy, who doesnt come out from his own room? maybe it would have been easy to understand if Dean was a gamer, or just pure evil, who was planning to ruin the world, But Dean wasn't like that. He was an insecure boy, from high school, who had two friends, and who tried to kill himself.  
"I dont know.. I guess i just dont feel like there is anything to do..." Dean said, not feeling the momment enough to start saying he was a suicidel boy with only two friends.  
"Thats sad.... there is pretty much to see.." Castiel said with a frown.  
"Yeah? like what?" Dean said with a huff, it was nice of Castiel to try to cheer up Dean's world, but Dean couldn't really see anything good about the place he lived, or the city for that matter.  
"Hmm.. " Castiel said and looked around, as if he would find something.  
"Thought so" Dean said and grinned at Castiel.  
"Alright.. so there isnt anything right here, but around" Castiel said with a smile. The talk and walking had taken them far enough into the park to come to the lake, that was in the middle of the park. Dean had been at the lake with his mom and dad when he was younger, before everything went wrong with his depression.

Dean felt sad for a moment remembering the lake, and the times where everything was easy. And for a second, he couldn't help but to think about how his life would have been if he didnt cut, and try to kill himself, and how it would all be, if he had more friends, and sat at the popular kids table at lunch. But then again, how would taht life be, if he didnt meet Castiel. It was like everything good came to show when Castiel was around.

Dean stopped at the lake, and Castiel walked a few steps further, before realizing that Dean had stopped. He stopped and looked back at Dean.  
" are you alright?" Castiel asked, But Dean didnt answer, he just walked to the bridge by the lake, and Castiel followed gladly.  
"I haven't been here for a long time" Dean said, leaning to look at the water.  
"When was that?" Castiel asked, watching Dean carefully, not to make sure he didnt fall into the water, more like he couldn't take his eyes off Dean.  
"When i was 5... " Dean said and looked over at Castiel. "I was here with my parents" Dean said.  
"5?.. thats a long time ago" Castiel said and sat on a bench, watching Dean, and looking at the lake.  
"Yea.. it is.." Dean said and sat beside Castiel. Somehow he really wanted to say so many things to Castiel, but he didnt know how to, or what to say. it was a never stopping problem for Dean, to not be able to say what he want. 

 

"Thank you..." Dean said after about 7 minutes of silence. How Castiel could take the silence was mystery to Dean.  
"For what?" Castiel asked and looked over at  Dean. Dean didnt know what to say now, He had been thinking about what to say for these 7 minutes, but all he got out was thank you. Somehow he would have to say why, but he didnt know how to..   
"For hanging out with me" Dean said as an excuse, to not seem stupid infront of Castiel.  
"You welcome" Castiel said and leaned back, looking at Dean. There was something, between them. Between strangers. 

** ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ **

(Castiel's POV)

It was so weird to see, a simple boy who seemed so troubled by so many things, and yet wanted to be so close to Castiel. Castiel couldn't figure Dean out, and thats what troubled Castiel really much. Castiel knew Dean didnt say thanks for the time, because somehow Castiel knew that this wasn't the last time they would be together, or talk at all.  
"Imagine having everything you wanted..." Castiel suddenly said, because the silence got too much, even for him.  
"It would be good.. yet again.." Dean said and smiled at Castiel.  
"What do you want, Dean?" Castiel said, looking at the young boy as if there was no tomorrow.  
"It doesn't matter" Dean said, which made Castiel frown.  
"Ofcause it matters... " Castiel said and laid his hand on Dean's shoulder. He could feel Dean shiver a bit, but Castiel didn't move his hand.  
"Everything you do matters" Castiel suddenly said, well it kind of slipped out of his mouth. Dean looked at Castiel, as if he was so lost in Castiel, or was about to just jump on him with kisses, or something else, Castiel couldn't tell.  
"If i had everything i wanted, i would still miss one thing.." Dean said, not moving his eyes from Castiel, not even a second, and Castiel, didnt move his eyes away from Dean either. It was like a perfect momment between strangers.  
"What?" Castiel said. Castiel forgot that he had his hand on Dean's shoulder still, but yet, Dean didnt mind.  
"You.." Dean said and it made Castiel smile. 

Just the fact that Dean wanted to be near Castiel made Castiel so happy, because he kind of liked Dean. Dean was not like any other guy, yet so much better, and easy to talk to aswell, but Castiel knew Dean was holding something in, something that hurt.  
"Thats sweet" Castiel said with a soft shy smile, and looked at the lake. He also moved his hand away from Dean's shoulder, which clearly Dean didnt like.   
"What about you?" Dean said, moving closer to Castiel.  
"I dont know.. i feel like i have everything i want.. and more" He said, smirking sweet at Dean. it was that kinda smile that would make Dean melt, or not, Maybe it did. Castiel really wanted it to.   
"More?" Dean asked a bit confused, as if he didnt know, yet Castiel was pretty sure, Dean knew he was that 'more'  
"Yeah.. Dean, can i ask you something?" Castiel asked.  
"Sure.. yeah.. anything" Dean said, moving closer.  
"what is your life like?" He asked, and it made Dean look a little confused. Castiel had been though so much, and he wanted to know how it was like to be somebody else, then himself.

 

 

"Well.. my life is.. umm.. i dont know.. like everybody else" Dean said a litte confused and looked at the water. Castiel looked at Dean.  
"I somehow dont think thats true" Castiel said, trying to make his smile cheer Dean up. the words made Dean look down. Castiel knew Dean was confused of how Castiel could know that Dean's life was weird and mixed up.  
"Im.. well..." Dean started saying but he stopped.   
"Beautiful.. " Castiel said and it made Dean look over at Castiel. It was weird of anybody to say that out of sudden.  
"You're beautiful.. a little broken, but who isnt" Castiel finished his sentence with a soft, understanding smile. and Dean was just sitting there, looking at Castiel, confused, yet his eyes had so much fate in them.

Before Castiel could even blink his eyes, Dean's lips were kissing his, Dean wasn't drunk, or on drugs, and he sure didnt get pushed or tripped. it just happened. Castiel put his hand on Dean's cheek, kissing him back, because who wouldn't kiss Dean back, He had the most perfect soft lips, Castiel had ever felt. The kiss was so full of passion, and love, Castiel adored Dean, every single little part of Dean, and they had just met yesterday. yet still Castiel felt so close to Dean, only wondering if Dean felt just as close to Castiel.

 


End file.
